All meaningful relationships have difficult moments or weeks or years. Conflict doesn’t mean you are in a bad relationship, but it does mean there is something to learn, something to know more deeply. Our relationships are reflections of the best parts of ourselves as well as the parts that need attention.
With couples I encourage each to speak whatever is true and real, while also growing greater capacity to hear another. It isn’t easy sometimes. But a willingness to try, and a willingness to be curious about what is going on within and between are often the very ingredients that can shift stuck or volatile places.
Chaos in the service of change is quite different than the chaos that comes from trying to keep things the same.
Some of the changes could include a deeper sense of being known, better sex, or just less fighting. Sometimes the change that is needed is to find your way to a more amicable ending. It can be extraordinarily helpful to have assistance while you navigate what might be possible, and what you really want.
I welcome couples of all configurations, and explicitly work with areas of difference as well as areas of sameness.
Then I will speak upon the ashes -